we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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