last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
