I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
