If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
They took my balls.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
