You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize