can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
