I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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