I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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