Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
tell me about the fingering
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