come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
