We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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