Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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