You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
