I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
