He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
