We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize