no, he came in my armpit
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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