Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
