i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
