Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
