Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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