You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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