you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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