I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
