We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
