we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
