So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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