i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
