I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Semen is not good for contacts.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
