dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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