The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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