he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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