Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
