he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
