Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
