U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
