Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
