I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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