How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Let's paint friendship bongs
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize