honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wish my penis had a tongue
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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