these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
