I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
