Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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