roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
