i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
