She announced her abortion via fbk
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
