I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
