Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
