you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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