I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
