If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
