Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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