I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
