I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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