did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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