Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
