so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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