what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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