would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
