She said her name was "party"
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
