if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Couch. On fire.
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