Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize