He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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